I think everyone experiences moments that break them, and we are left to decide if they break us open or closed. One of my most defining was the end of an engagement to a man I loved. I knew the pain and disappointment would be enveloping. And it did overwhelm me. But I was determined to use everything about the experience as a teaching. I wanted to learn about myself, my patterns, my strengths, my areas for growth. I wanted to learn how to have grace in the midst of change. I wanted to learn how to not be afraid. I wanted to build a life that on the outside matched my insides.
My journey of invention and reinvention had many parts. In it, I solidified my yoga practice, using it first as a way to delve into myself and then into teachings as I pursued yoga teacher training. Yoga was (and still is) my refuge. It taught me to learn to ride my waves of emotions, to surrender to processes without judging them, that pain is not lasting, and that our definitions of ourselves are fluid. I found a wonderful learning community to become part of that I felt supported and valued in. I asked for help when I needed it. I learned how to build a home inside of myself for myself. I learned wonders about my own strength. And in all this, I learned how to love myself, which was what I had been missing all along.